Grief

Grief - something I currently have to deal with. On August 17, I had to put my beloved dog Flash to sleep. He was by my side for more than 7 years. In October he would have been 11 years old. But his health had deteriorated rapidly after an epileptic seizure, so I made the decision to let him go. A decision that was difficult, but the best for him.


The pain and grief are very deep in such a case, especially since Flash helped me through depression and many other difficult phases of my life. You have to cope with such a loss. I have learned that you have to allow grief and that it is a process that lasts and does not suddenly disappear. There are days when I look at pictures and videos of him and remember those past moments with a smile. And then there are the days when I can't bear to look at a single picture of him and immediately burst into tears. Just the thought of him then puts a stab in my heart. I know it will hurt for a long time and I am willing to let it happen. They say time heals all wounds, but in this case it only gets easier with time. The pain won't be quite as present.

I was helped by the loving messages from friends and family to let the grief go. After I made the appointment with the vet, Flash had 5 days to live. In these last days, I enjoyed every moment more than ever. I perceived everything much more intensely, did not want to regret anything in retrospect. I gave him the most beautiful last days, which he could have had. Walk with his friends, licking yogurt ice cream, treats as much as he wanted and could eat and the most important: time together.


What particularly moved me was the sympathy of all the people who knew us and loved Flash. Even one or two celebrities expressed their sympathy, even after his death. I was touched by every message that reached me and I thank everyone for it. But most of all I was speechless about how many people visited us again to say goodbye to Flash for the last time. At that moment I realized that he had and will always have a place in the hearts of all these people. He was something special. For me he was a little hero.


At that time, he had made it possible for me to fight my depression. I had found a meaning in my life again through him. Suddenly there was someone who depended on me. Provided for him. We grew together more and more into a team. He was my absolute soul dog.


From the beginning, I vowed to Flash that when his time came one day, he would be allowed to go with dignity and I would be by his side until his last breath. I have tried very many times to prepare for that last day, but no matter how hard you try to be prepared, you are not. It hits you like a slap in the face. You feel like the ground is being pulled out from under your feet.


But as much as it hurts that he is no longer with me, I am glad that he existed. I look back on our experiences with a smile on my face and will carry the memories in my heart forever. No one will ever be able to take that away from me.


He will always be a little hero to me and I will carry him in my heart forever.


Thank you for everything Flash.....Farewell and rest in peace.

*16.10.2010 † 17.08.2021

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