I want to write about her, and I cannot find the right words. She has been this once in a lifetime person to me, this great chance that happens to people as they begin to grow and understand life better. I miss her! From the very first moment I exchanged any word with her- my intuitive thought was that she is special and good, and that I want to befriend her. She always laughed at me when I told her this, but I have always been sincere to her. I have opened my heart in front of her like a child does to her mother; surrendering, asking for a shoulder to lean on safely.
For that is what we would do, even when we were walking down roads, during long stays away, laughing hard, and understanding our long, long conversations of what we want to become in the future.
Okay, now I miss her even more. I remember that we did not agree in all things. We quarreled so much about things so small, because we were both stubborn and we would not let each other win, until love won us both. I always cried when we argued, and she would always ask me: you did? why? The answer was so obvious - I loved her with a love that was pure and humble.
Thus we went on...these things strengthened our friendship even more. When we would meet the next day we would run into each other's hugs laughing and arguing till the last word again! I was so different then. I remember...I never understood her jokes correctly or realized when she was serious or talking ironically. She was so hard for me to understand until I knew her better.
It took me some time to get to know her, but to love her was so good a thing. She was my second self in all important things. I felt blessed and lucky to have her there in all moments; to share my grief when life went wrong, to tell her about myself, my dreams, and all I lived for! She would put her hand into mine and listened effortlessly as if it were a tale. Then I would do the same for her and this is how we began.
There is more, I know. She knows too, but I cannot write it all, I cannot find the words. All I know is that she is someone I will never forget, someone I will always love even if there is no more reason to, even if we stop seeing or talking to each other.
There will always be some sort of longing for us and all we went through; like a lost melody of a song; it never ceases. I want to thank her for everything; for making me a better person, for teaching me to be soft and girlish, for giving me sense before sensibility, for being there. I love writing for her. I would write endlessly, and I would mention every silly, beautiful thing we did together. But for now, I will stop here.
Laureta Rexha is an English Teacher and writer from Kosovo. She is a graduate student of Master Studies in English Literature at the University of Prishtina. Laureta writes articles, research papers and poetry, is a published author of a poetry book in Albanian “Nën qiellin e parë’’. This is her first English story.